Christina: There's a Club. The Dead Dads Club and you can't be in it 'til you're in it. Oh yah, you can try and understand. You can sympathize; but until you feel that loss . . .My dad died when I was nine . . .George . . .I'm really sorry you had to join the club.
George: I don't know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn't.
Christina: Yeah, and that never really changes.
Grey's Anatomy, 1/18/2007
All day, I tried out different things with the new camera, wanting to experiment and just snapping this sketch of my dad while I searched throughout the house for subjects. It wasn't until I got an email from my dear friend who wanted to know if missing her dad would get easier (She lost him three years ago this February). All I could think about was this scene from Grey's Anatomy last night and thinking that no one can really understand until they have experienced that particular loss. I think she wrote because she knew that I was already part of the club and had been for a long while.
Christina was so right when she said "that never really changes" when George says he didn't know how to exist in a world where his dad didn't exist. Even as I write this I am crying. Even as I watched it last night I bawled like a little baby. There is something about that bond. Does it every get any easier? I lost him at 25, that was 22 years ago, almost half my life ago.
I wrote my friend back tonight and told her about this scene and tried to do my best to send my encouragement and promise of prayer. I even rewatched that scene on the internet to get the exact words. I found out the writer had lost her father in the same way and wrote about it on the show and dedicated it to his memory. The message boards were flooded with posts from people who belong to the Club.
So, it was a slam dunk what my picture of the day would be about today. It doesn't show off my new D-80 camera, but it shows off my dad. He is infinitely more beautiful than any sunset, and someone I can't wait to see in heaven.
In memory of Charles William Wardrop July 12, 1918 - May 2, 1985 the greatest man I have ever met just because he was my dad.
10 comments:
Tears here, (((Carol))). No words; just tears. xoxo
Oh Carol, I saw that episode of Grey's. I'm sorry that it made you sad. But thank you for sharing your Dad with us and how much he means to you.
Beautiful portrait of him.
Beautiful tribute.
I feel a similar way about my grandfather. He's been gone almost 25 years, and the world is simply a different place without him. I still see and experience things I want to share with him. I want to sit in "my place" with him in "his" chair, and know that no matter what else is a hurricane in my life, in that spot I am loved and held.
What a moving post Carol. I know I'll join the club before too long, and I dread that world. Hugs to you.
Wow Carol-what a tribute to your Dad. Heart wrenching. What an awesome man that his impact is still felt so deeply by you.
Sending cyberhugs!
Susan
Very moving post and picture. I have almost lost my dad 3 times in the last year and it is scary to think about. I hope you find some comfort in the memory of his love.
This was a really special idea for a post. It's a club that's not much fun to belong to! My dad died in 1991 and I haven't stopped missing him yet. But I'm thankful that he was the kind of dad that played such a great part in my life-- if he wasn't so special, it wouldn't be so hard.
I'm crying here Carol. What a wonderful post about a wonderful man. I hate belonging to that club.
All teary-eyed here, too, and the best part of your whole post is the last sentence . . . just because he was my dad.
Thanks for this post Carol. Love you and empathize with your experience. Looking forward to the day when the circle is unbroken and the whole family is together! That day can't come soon enough! Love you Sister!
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